Navigating the workplace can feel like a high-stakes game of Tetris, especially when new tasks pile up faster than you can manage. If you’ve ever struggled with how to say no at work without seeming incapable, you’re not alone. The fear of being overworked yet under-appreciated is isolating—but setting boundaries is possible.
This is a dilemma many people face: “I don’t think anyone at my job is aware of the amount of work I do, even though I try my best to tell them what’s on my plate. They just assign me more tasks, and I get overwhelmed. It’s hard for me to say no because I have the lowest position on the team, so I don’t want to make it seem like I can’t handle it. Sometimes I seriously can’t handle it. I have never been more stressed in my life. How do I go about this?”
This is a powerful question that deserves a powerful answer. According to Sam DeMase, a renowned career coach, author, and speaker, this experience is far more common than you might think. As ZipRecruiter’s new resident career expert, Sam has coached countless ambitious professionals, helping them navigate the choppy waters of workplace burnout. Her advice provides a clear, actionable roadmap for anyone struggling to manage their workload and their well-being.
What Does Burnout Really Look Like?
Before we dive into the “how,” let’s take a moment to understand the “what.” The feeling of being overworked isn’t just about having a long to-do list; it’s a symptom of a deeper issue. Burnout is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion that can stem from chronic workplace stress. It’s the feeling that you are constantly giving more than you have to give, and the well is running dry.
The signs of burnout are often subtle at first, but they can quickly escalate. You might find yourself having trouble focusing on tasks you used to complete with ease. A feeling of dread might creep in every Sunday night as you anticipate the week ahead. Physically, burnout can manifest as persistent headaches, gastrointestinal issues, or a constant feeling of fatigue. Mentally, it can lead to heightened anxiety, depression, and a sense of detachment from your work and your life. These are not just signs of a tough week; they are red flags that your body and mind are at their breaking point.
The Problem with the “Just Say No” Advice
The common advice of “just say no” can feel dismissive and unhelpful, especially for those in entry-level positions. It’s not always that simple. There’s a power dynamic at play. You might fear that saying no will make you look lazy, incompetent, or uncooperative. These are valid fears, but they are also based on the premise that your value is solely defined by your capacity to take on an infinite amount of work. This is a false and dangerous premise. Your value lies in the quality of your work, your expertise, and your ability to contribute effectively, not in your willingness to be exploited.
Sam DeMase’s approach is different. It’s not about just saying no; it’s about creating visibility, having a strategic conversation, and setting clear boundaries. It’s about shifting the narrative from “I can’t handle this” to “Help me prioritize so I can do my best work.”
Step 1: Create Visibility with Documentation
The first and most crucial step is to gather evidence. When you feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to rely on an emotional argument—”I’m so stressed,” “I have too much to do.” While these feelings are real and valid, they are often not enough to prompt a change. Your manager needs a concrete, data-driven picture of your workload.
Start by creating a detailed document of all your tasks and projects. Don’t just list them; categorize them. Compare this list to your original job description. What are the core responsibilities you were hired for? What are the additional tasks that have been casually added to your plate over time? Next to each item, note the amount of time you spend on it per week. Be meticulous. If a project was a one-time assignment, document how long it took to complete.
Once you’ve done this, tally up the total number of hours you are working. This exercise is powerful because it gives you a tangible, undeniable look at your workload. It’s a powerful tool for your own clarity and a crucial piece of evidence to present to your manager. It’s a way of saying, “Here is the data, not just my feelings.”
Step 2: Loop in Your Leader with a Strategic Conversation
With your documentation in hand, it’s time to schedule a meeting with your manager. This isn’t a casual chat or a complaint session; it’s a strategic conversation. When you set up the meeting, be clear about its purpose. Something as simple as, “I’d like to schedule some time to discuss my current workload and how I can best prioritize my projects to meet our goals,” can set the right tone.
During the meeting, present your document. This is not about blaming your manager or complaining about your role. Instead, frame the conversation as a collaborative problem-solving session. You can say something like, “I’ve been tracking my workload, and it’s become clear that I’m spending a significant amount of time on tasks that fall outside my primary responsibilities. This is making it challenging to do my best work on my core projects, and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed.”
Then, use a powerful, non-confrontational phrase like, “Can you help me clear some of this off my plate so I can focus on my job responsibilities?”
This phrase is brilliant because it places the responsibility for problem-solving on your manager, where it belongs. It shows that you are committed to doing your job well, but you need their guidance to prioritize and manage your workload effectively. It’s their job to ensure their team members are set up for success, and this conversation gives them the information they need to do that.
Not all managers will be receptive, and that’s a crucial piece of information in itself. A good manager will respond with empathy and a desire to find a solution, whether that means reassigning tasks, reprioritizing projects, or hiring more help. If your manager is dismissive, unhelpful, or tells you to “just deal with it,” their response tells you a lot about the company culture and your long-term prospects there. This is essential information you can use to decide your next move, even if that means starting to look for a new job.
Step 3: Recover and Set Fresh Boundaries
The final step is about prevention and long-term well-being. Even after you’ve had the conversation and a solution is in place, you need to set new boundaries to prevent burnout from happening again. According to Sam DeMase, boundaries aren’t just about workload; they are also about physical, emotional, communication, and time limits.
When it comes to workload, this means clearly defining your role. What are your core responsibilities? How long do your recurring tasks realistically take? What is the optimal number of projects you can handle at one time without sacrificing quality or your well-being? Once you’ve defined these boundaries for yourself, write them down. This act of codifying your limits makes them real and non-negotiable in your own mind.
You don’t need to have a new conversation every time you are at capacity. You can confidently communicate your boundaries in the moment. For example, if a new task is assigned to you and you are already at your limit, you can say, “I’d love to help with that, but my plate is full with [List current projects]. Can you help me understand which of these projects I should deprioritize to take on this new task?” This phrasing is an incredible tool. It doesn’t say “no” but instead forces your manager to make a prioritization call, which is their job.
The reality is that workplaces will often push your limits until you proactively and confidently establish them. Taking these steps is not just about reducing your current stress; it’s about honing your self-advocacy skills, building workplace confidence, and protecting your long-term mental and physical health.
You are not alone in this struggle, and you are not a burden for needing to set boundaries. Advocating for yourself is deeply empowering and an essential part of a healthy, sustainable career.
What steps will you take this week to begin creating visibility around your workload?